My Hero!
by crocious
Summary: Bitty fluffy oneshot for the greatest country in the world, yo! Lol! Why doesn't England remember America's birthday?


_There's something funny about the color orange_, England thought as he strolled along a quiet, pleasant beach. _Namely, how it looks so green_._ I'm almost certain orange wasn't that green yesterday._

The pink waves stabbed at his feet and England sat down in the powdered glass and let it tickle his toes. _Yep_, he thought as a six foot tall insect with glasses pet his unicorn. _Something seems a little off today._

"Iggy!"

England heard the voice echo over the stony ocean and closed his eyes. The wind smelled very much like grease and mustard and idiocy.

"Iggs!"

England rolled his eyes as his unicorn wandered away from him and into a nearby cinnamon forest.

He hated waking up to burger breath.

"ENGLAND! WAKE UP!"

With a sigh, England opened his eyes to a pinkish blob in a darkish room. _Shapes_, he thought. _I need shapes._

"Are you up yet? Geez, what the hell!"

England glared as best he could at the pinkish blob, but he was still so tired it was impossible to focus. He willed the blob to turn out to be any other blob than the blob that made a habit of waking him up like this. No such luck.

"America," England said with an impressive, he thought, amount of patience. "What time is it?"

"It's midnight, dude! Got anything to say to me?"

England looked over at his alarm clock to verify. He blinked.

"It's five am, Alfred."

The newly shaped America cocked his head in annoyance and England thought to himself how very badly he needed to change his locks. "Really? Then you should have called me five hours ago, asshole!"

It was too early for England to deal with America's logic and apparently miraculous travel through time and space. Maybe later, after he'd had his sixth cup of tea. But now he could think of nothing to do but sit back on his pillow and ride out the insanity.

"Why should I have called you five hours ago?"

"Are you serious? Tell me you're kidding." America looked genuinely hurt and England sighed.

"Am I forgetting something important?"

"Super mega-important, Iggy! Tell me you're just joking!"

"Does it have to do with tea?"

America grinned. "You _did_ remember! Thank God!"

"Yes… well… If you'd like, I can make us a pot. I'm up now anyway."

America laughed as if England had just told him Christmas had skipped a few months and was visiting early this year. England looked at him like he was mad.

"Are you mad?" England asked, just to check.

"No," America grinned. "I'm super happy! You'll come tonight, right?"

"Come where?"

America's smile faltered. "To the party. You know, with the fireworks and the hot dogs and the awesome?"

A glimmer of recognition said hello to England, but it ran away again when England tried to ask its name.

"I'm sorry, Alfred," England said, confused. "I think I have plans this evening. Perhaps next time?"

Several distinct emotions fought with America's face. Confusion, annoyance, hurt and excitement all claimed different areas of his face, resulting in a real-life Picasso sitting on the edge of England's bed. England thought his dream about talking insects on glass beaches was less surreal.

"Iggy," America said slowly. "What day is today?"

England sat back and thought. "Well, yesterday was July third."

"Right."

"So today is… July fourth?"

"Yes! And?"

"And… Monday."

"_And_?"

"And… trash day?"

"_And?_"

"And… and what? No more and!"

"Screw you, limey!"

"And what? I don't understand what you want from me!"

America stood up and crossed his arms. "I don't believe this! I come all the way out here to give you the honor of saying it first this year and you don't even remember!"

"Alfred, I don't understand. Let me make you breakfast and you can tell me what's bothering you."

"Oh, and now you want to kill me. That's great, Arthur."

England's eye twitched in annoyance. "My cooking is fine."

"We're in a fight! Don't talk to me!"

"You're in my house! In my bedroom! At five in the morning!"

"Mad at you!"

England opened his mouth to respond when America's pocket suddenly started to sing the Star Spangled Banner. America pulled out his phone and his face softened when he saw the caller ID. He flipped it open. "Mattie!" he said gleefully.

England rubbed his eyes and turned on the light as the mystery person on the other line talked.

"Dude," America replied. "Thank you so much! Are you coming tonight?... Totally, it was fun! You're a blast when you drink!... Haha, no, I'm not telling!... Nope, not even for a limited edition Captain America replica indestructible shield, though that sounds amazing… What do you mean I'm clueless?... Yeah, I'm actually here now… Nope. No clue. I'm not talking to him."

England perked up and listened to see if he could gather an idea about what America was so angry about.

"Well he should remember! It was big for him, too... Wow, you sound tired. Haha!... Nah, don't worry about me. I'll see you tonight, kay?... Great. Love you, bro… Psh, whatever. It's my birthday, I'll say what I want to!"

England paled and America looked at him. "Oh, looks like he just got it. Go to bed, I'll call you later. Gnight." America snapped his phone shut and looked expectantly at England.

"Er." England said. He tried to think of something else to say too, but "er" seemed to sum up everything he was feeling rather nicely.

"You forgot my birthday."

"Er, yes. Yes I did."

"And?"

"And I'm sorry."

"And?"

"And I'll be there tonight."

"_And_?"

"And I'll make sure to get you an incredible present to make up for it."

"_AND?_"

"And? And what! And nothing! I'm sorry, it was awful of me to forget your birthday and I apologize!"

America glowered.

"_What_?" said England. "What do you want me to say?"

"You know what I want you to say."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do."

"I'm not saying that."

"Yes you are. Every time someone says my name today."

"Alfred, that's stupid!"

"It's my birthday! I do what I want!"

"Damn it…"

…

"Amerique!" France shouted across the beach. England mumbled under his breath.

America smirked at England as he waved France over. "Hey, dude! What's up?"

Japan came shyly up behind France. "Your fireworks are stunning, America-san."

England mumbled into his beer and America nudged him in the side.

"What was that, dude? We can't hear you. You have to be louder for it to count."

England gave him a poisoned look and slammed back his beer.

France looked at America with glee. "Eh? What is this? Has England lost the bet?"

"Sorta," America grinned. "He forgot my birthday."

France clapped his hands together and laughed. "Then he deserves this!"

"Don't," England grumbled.

"America!"

"Mmf."

"America!"

"…muh ro…."

"America!"

"Dammit, shut up, you bloody frog!"

"Hey, Alfred!" Canada called across the beach.

"MY HERO!"

America laughed loudly. "There we go!"

"I hate you so much."


End file.
